For The Love Of }

Tuesday, 19 February 2008, 7:18 pm

Kenneth Teng (14) 4-11

“Life”

Light faded into the what seemed perpetual path. The florescent lights above flickered continuously. I stretched my head out forward and squinted my eyes. Once again, I looked at the piece of scrunched paper in my quivering hands that Charlotte had given me. “This has to be the place.” I swallowed my drivel hard and slowly schlepped forward.

“Thump!” I jumped and froze in traumatism. Someone had emerged from the darkness and fallen on her knees right infront of me! At closer look, she was a girl, about my age. She looked jaded and dreary. Her hair was dry and disheveled; her eyes were droopy; her lips was pale and breached. I observed her as she supported herself up with one hand on the wall. She took a glimpse of me out of the corner of her eye as she staggered past me.

My heart was palpitating wildly; my palms were clammy; my breathing was heavy. I caressed my tummy in a circular motion. I knew I could not waste any more time. My tummy was becoming more conspicuous with each day past and that doggoned Leslie was nowhere to be found. I abominated him for abandoning me and leaving me to carry the burden alone. I abominated myself even more fort being so foolish and imprudent, but it was all too late.

After entering the illicit, cramp and bedraggled Abortion Centre, I grabbed a stool and sat down in queue. I noticed a lady beside me smothering her face in her hands as she wept uncontrollably.

Her name was Li Lin. She was just like me, deeply in debt by a moment of folly and abandoned. However, she wanted the baby. Despite her strong disapprobation to the idea of having an abortion, her mother compelled her to, threatening to disown her if she refused.

I was bewildered that she wanted to keep the child. I insisted on aborting mine in fear or incurring my parents’ wrath and humiliation by my friends. She stammered in a hoarse voice, “I…don’t…want to be a…a murderer!”

There was a long hiatus after that. The menacing word “Murderer” reverberated in my head. I was conscience-strickenned and forlorned. Indeed, she was right! All along I have only thought about myself, but I have neglected the fact that inside my womb was a life. A life waiting to be brought into the world and discover the many wonders life has to offer; and I was standing in its way; I was about to murder it.

“Next!” I glanced around and looked up at the tall, well-endowed and sweaty surgeon. I pointed to myself and cocked my eyebrow. He pulled down his mask with one finger and retorted, “Yes,you!”.

Lying on makeshift, lopsided operating table, I surveyed the room. There seemed to be an eerie, hair-raising atmosphere hanging in the air. As if the desolate souls of fetuses still lingered at the scene of crime; as if the Grim Reaper was at the corner of the room, watching, waiting…

I turned to the surgeon whose back was facing me. He was preparing his apparatus. I tilted my head curiously to get a closer look. My eyes widened with stupefaction. On the table was a tray, full of used gloves enshrouded with crimson red sinful blood.

Abruptly, I turned away. I gazed aimlessly into the ceiling fan above and thought about what Li Lin had said. Although I did not want my pregnancy to be discovered, I did not want to be convicted of murder either. It occurred to me that the little life in my womb was innocent and he deserved to live on like any other normal child. I did not want to live the rest of my life in guilt.

The loud smacking of rubber gloves startled me. I could hear the loud, heavy footsteps of the surgeon as he treaded towards me. I was in a dilemma; I was still debating whether I should abort the child. My hear was thumping wildly. I caressed my tummy in a circular motion.

And I realized it was not just my heart thumping. There were two.

With that as the final verdict, I gritted my teeth and slipped off the side of the table’ sprinted out of the room, out of the entrance, back into the darkness. As beads of tears whizzed behind me, I wore a grin on my face.

I was determined to bring that life to the world.